Photos
Yes, OK, smart alecs (or is it smarts alec?), this is theoretically “old news.” It’s a photo of Andy Serkis, Freida Pinto, and James Franco on the set of Rise of the Planet of the Apes, which is a movie that came out 100 years ago. But some of us never saw it until this week, and we’re never going to break the VICIOUS CYCLE of the INTERNET if we don’t cut each other some slack every once in awhile. Because the fact of the matter is that this photo is INCREDIBLE. It makes me feel CRAZY! I feel like Bob Hoskins is looking down from the great Who Framed Roger Rabbit? soundstage in the sky and shaking his head and whispering “I don’t know how they do it.” I would rather act with a tennis ball on the end of a broomstick than have to actually look at Andy Serkis in his bodysock, and they have to TOUCH HIS BACK AND STUFF? Oh my God, Becky. This is seriously so embarrassing. If I was in this photo and someone posted it on Facebook I would be like UNTAG UNTAG UNTAG. The time is now, indeed. What does Andy Serkis want a Moonman for? Best supporting making everyone uncomfortable? I guess no one ever likes to see how the sausage gets made, but I didn’t realize everyone had to TOUCH THE SAUSAGE’S BACK AND STUFF. Eek. What do you think Freida Pinto and James Franco said to their agents after the director yelled cut? Or their parents? Or their therapists? Or the lady at craft services? Caption it.
Winner will receive special placement in this week’s Monsters’ Ball and will probably never have to do anything even remotely like what is happening in this picture, which is a nightmare. (Photo via FilmDrunk.)
I know that in the past we’ve got a little upset with ice cream vendors who are too overzealous with the “show” aspect of their jobs. Not that we don’t appreciate odd talent, and not that we don’t love a good show, but most of the time when we order an ice cream — or ANY food, really — we don’t want it pretend thrown at us or fake-y given to us in a way that will definitely make us very embarrassed. It is mostly our own problem, not yours. I guess there must be SOME people out there who enjoy that. But for you guys in this video who are working at what looks like some sort of Coldstone Creamery-type restaurant, except the video says it’s in Dubai and I don’t know if they have those there: Do what you want! It’s fine. We’re all enjoying it, and it certainly looks like you’re both enjoying it enough. So, for you guys only, please disregard what I said about the just giving people their ice cream. You’re a delight.
- I missed this yesterday because I think it happened after I already put up the links and listen nobody’s perfect, but guess what! Paul Rudd is going to guest star on Parks and Recreation! As Leslie Knope’s opponent! Which one are you even supposed to root for, I wonder. -Vulture
- Fox greenlit a pilot from It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia‘s Rob McElhenney about “a loose partying blogger forced to change his career plans when he becomes a radio host.” I have like 54 questions about what this short plot summary could possibly mean, but uhh, it sounds good! It at least sounds fine. Rob McElhenney is great. I think. I like It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia A LOT, is I guess what I’m trying to say. -WarmingGlow
- So Lindsay Lohan is maybe going to play Elizabeth Taylor in a Lifetime movie and from what I’ve gathered in a brief (not brief) scan of the Internet today, people are SUPER MAD about it! But why? She’ll be fine. And it’s Lifetime, for crying out loud. And relax. -Deadline
- Watch Gabe Liedman in this Onion News Network’s StarFix report, “Witch Who Granted Beyoncé Fame Returns To Claim Firstborn Child.” YES! Also: do any of you guys think she really had that baby or is it just none of you who think that? -ONN
- Just kidding about Beyoncé. I GUESS. Anyway, I haven’t seen The Artist because, if I can be honest with you, ugh. I bet it’s great but, ugh. I don’t wanna. But I guess it raped (not raped-raped) Kim Novak? Star of Vertigo? The score of which the The Artist includes a reference to? Maybe you should just read the thing about it. -FilmDrunk
- “Kim Kardashian replaced by dog in Sketchers’ super bowl ad this year.” -Dlisted
- Here are some seventh graders at a Korean winter camp doing a word paper dance to Daft Punk’s “Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger.” It is a cute thing, especially during the minute before the words actually kick in. -TheDailyWhat
- Emma Stone, Nick Cannon, and Andy Samberg are going to make appearances in an upcoming episode of 30 Rock, says Tina Fey. Great! I don’t have a problem with any of it. -Celebuzz
- Giancarlo Esposito, Breaking Bad‘s Gus Fring, is doing a reddit AMA right now. If you know how to do that or fully understand what it means, go do it! -Reddit
Last night, I did a show with my good friends Max Silvestri and Gabe Liedman in which we debated the merits of New Hollywood vs. Old Hollywood against another team of performers made up of Dave Hill, Julie Klausner, and Rachel Shukert, moderated by comedian Jessi Klein. It was a fun event! You should have been there! Where were you?! But anyway, after Max’s very important slideshow comparing New Hollywood’s beautiful tight bodies to Old Hollywood’s disgusting trash bags (like I said, you really should have been there), which naturally featured an image of America’s Husband, Ryan Gosling, Jessi Klein made the point that Ryan Gosling has done more for gay marriage this past year than anyone because even heterosexual guys would def want 2 marry him. That is a good joke, Jessi Klein, because of how it is BASED IN TRUTH. Anyway, look, 2011 was obviously basically 2000RyanGosling, but here we are in 2012 and I’m not sure this thing is going anywhere. Look at us! A stupid paparazzi photo of Emma Stone making the same face that Ryan Gosling made in a stupid paparazzi photo of Ryan Gosling? UH YEAH, IT’S CALLED BREAKING NEWS AND THAT’S WHY WE ARE REAL JOURNALISTS. #Journalism #PaleyCenterForGoslingStudies (Via Pajiba. Click through to enlarge.)
As you all must have heard by now, Aaron Paul got engaged on New Years Eve in Paris. No, not to me. It did come as a shock. Sometimes you think your life is going to take one road and then, what do you know, suddenly that road gets engaged to another woman, who is the same age as you are, on New Years Eve in Paris. That’s just life, and life goes on. But we do all deserve a little closure.
Goodbye, Aaron. I’ll never stop loving your appearance, or the way your character is on AMC’s Breaking Bad.
Mr. Coconuts is Tuesday, January 17th. Look at this: Dave Hill, Mike Albo, Ted Travelstead, John Roberts, and Jessi Klein. This is your wonderful night of comedy to lose at this point.
I don’t want to distract you too much from watching people do things very poorly, because I do understand that watching people do things poorly is one of the best things about being on a computer, like for example the “Boom Goes the Dynamite” video that I keep linking to, AKA the most perfect example of having the most fun watching someone do something very poorly. Remember that video? From such a long time ago? Holy moly! That kid. Can we talk about that video? Not here, just anywhere? I’ve already talked about it too much here since it’s from about 400 years ago, but I do have a lot to say about it. Which is a lie. I only have one thing to say about it, and that is: BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE! Hahaaaaaa. But, so, anyway, did you know that it can also be fun to watch someone do something well? Like, for example, paint a scene on a canvas with their fingers? And when they begin you think, “What are they doing?” But then you think, “Oh, I get it.” And then you think, “WHOA!” Try it! It’s fun!
